How pathetic is this?

Today. Today I peed on a stick. I know. It's utterly pathetic. I stopped peeing on sticks over a year ago. I stopped peeing on sticks when it became a choice of buying more of the evil pee sticks or buying groceries. But for some pathetic reason I thought that maybe just maybe we would be able to achieve a natural pregnancy after getting sealed. It pisses me off that I even thought that. It doesn't do justice to all of the wonderful members of the church who are already sealed and dealing with infertility. It insults all of the wonderful people who have dealt with and are currently dealing with infertility who are not members of the church. I have banished the idiotic thoughts and commanded them never to return but in that stoopid moment of weakness I peed on a stick. Please no bashing. I feel badly enough.

During my momentary lapse in judgment I found a sad little bit of irony. I think it was two summers ago that I bought a bag of dixie cups. I was so sick of peeing on my fingers and the like that I bought a bag of cups. Today when I went to pull out my stash of cups that I keep in the bathroom for just this purpose I realized that I only have two cups left. Holy night! That is probably hundreds of dollars wasted on those evil pee sticks. Evil is right!

By the way, it was glaringly negative.